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Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
A: To get to the same side!

Q: What did the lady say where her Parrot flew out the window?
A: Poly Gone! (Polygon)

Q: What did the acorn say when it grew up?
A: Gee, I'm a Tree! (Geometry)

Top ten excuses for not doing homework:
  • I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
  • Isaac Newton's birthday.
  • I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
  • I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
  • I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
  • I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
  • I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
  • I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
  • I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
  • I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm e^x..."

Same alley, same function, but a different operator:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm e^x..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy."